I've
been
thinking
of
my
death
the
when
why
how
where
I
really
must
know

I
picked
up
some
green
acorns
from
the
bench
but
I
kept
them
in
my
hand

you
think
I'm
texting
little
do
you
know
I'm
writing
an
epic
poem

coffee
smells
a
clinking
of
spoon
to
cup
the
sun
from
the
east
window

clouds
gave
me
shade
i
watched
nature
and
liked
listening
to
its
story

talk
to
me
winds
feel
my
skin
grass
i'm
part
of
you
and
you
know
it

he'd
said
I
was
pretty
when
I
cried
but
only
when
we'd
first
met

the
bees
pollinate
the
dandelions
with
ease
and
a
careful
speed

i
love
you
i
love
you
don't
go
she
said
he
paused
and
then
he
left

last
night
no
roses
had
yet
bloomed
and
now
this
morning
there
are
three

I
saw
a
poem
in
the
air
unwritten
just
out
of
my
hand's
reach

I've
been
thinking
a
lot
about
this
prison
I'm
in
and
how
to
escape

it's
the
roses
the
anna
akhmatova
and
the
lana
del
rey

the
smoke
rolled
past
her
lips
tube
dress
side
pony
the
summer
suited
her

the
gayle
winehouse
del
rey
of
my
mind
wrote
a
new
song
for
you
today

i
was
determined
to
be
anxious
like
a
doris
lessing
novel

I
kept
writing
haiku
after
haiku
and
quickly
deleting
them

the
sun
in
my
mind
melted
into
something
soft
and
white
and
quite
fine

i
let
myself
feel
that
at
any
moment
i
might
burst
into
light

the 

small

winding 

road 

down 

below 

the 

dike 

where 

my 

grandmother's 

house 

stood  

I
made
love
to
the
fog
was
the
nostalgia
fell
into
their
stories

someone's
iPhone's
getting
texts
and
the
chime
is
ruining
the
music

I
wanted
to
feel
the
way
she
sings
about
the
drinking
of
black
coffee

i
felt
euphoric
like
the
world
was
me
all
of
it
was
inside
me

her
poem
snow
i
keep
thinking
about
it
and
the
way
i
feel
with
snow

the
bottom
of
my
cappuccino
sat
without
me
drinking
it
all

i
wish
i
could
move
away
and
not
come
back
and
not
come
back
again

the
moment
was
auspicious
propitious
but
I
felt
alone
forlorn

you 

were 

there 

two 

worlds 

collided 

and 

they 

could 

never 

tear 

us 

apart 

-inxs

i
need
something
to
keep
me
hanging
on
so
I
think
of
your
tanned
skin

oh
darling
do
tell
them
the
story
again
it's
one
of
my
favorites

the
way
I
think
of
it
now
isn't
the
way
I
thought
of
it
back
then

why
did
he
put
on
that
Waylon
record
did
he
want
to
break
my
heart

if
you
woke
me
up
with
a
passionate
kiss
I
wouldn't
be
upset

she
sang
mazzy
star
her
voice
was
epic
space
it's
strange
I
never
knew

I'm
taking
pictures
of
my
kids
and
they're
taking
pics
of
Spain
I
miss
Spain

it
was
kathryn
beaumont's
voice
like
the
air
right
off
the
daisy's
petals

oh
hello
how
are
you
it's
been
a
long
time
anything
new
with
you

you
made
me
forget
myself
I
thought
I
was
someone
else
someone
good

- Lou Reed

I
wished
that
my
long
hair
was
longer
so
that
I
might
hide
behind
it

the
xanax
incident
where
we
took
too
many
and
slept
for
three
days

my
love
is
like
a
see
saw
baby
thank
you
for
staying
on
the
ride

the
train
slowed
and
I
knew
if
I
got
on
I
couldn't
never
get
off

you
must
be
my
muse
you're
the
only
thing
I
want
to
write
about

I
love
your
face
I
could
look
at
you
forever
and
never
get
enough

the
light
that
shines
from
your
eyes
sometimes
overwhelms
me
and
I
can't
see

he
made
me
feel
like
the
sun
the
breeze
all
the
better
parts
of
a
day

the 

audience 

watched 

I 

read 

my 

poems 

my 

daughter 

peed 

on 

my 

shoes 

a
sail
boat
on
the
upper
bay
of
the
hudson
the
skyscrapers
behind

it's
the
roses
they
call
garden
party
I
think
Jackie
O
would
love
them

why 

did 

the 

poop 

cross 

the 

road 

because 

it 

was 

inside 

of 

the 

chicken

-sean & emily 

today
his
grey
hairs
stood
out
whispering
to
me
his
gentle
future

I
thought
about
how
I
might
hold
him
when
he
comes
home
I
miss
his
arms

by
the
sea
stars
of
your
love
reclining
on
the
heart
waves
of
your
kiss

I
thought
I'd
remember
his
pale
skin
as
he
was
dying
but
I
don't

let's
make
love
I'll
be
Elizabeth
Hardwick
you
can
be
Robert
Lowell

I
said
you
could
be
queen
of
the
sea
she
said
or
queen
of
everything

it's
all
the
little
hairs
on
your
shoulders
backlit
by
the
summer's
sun

the
cat
so
proud
in
the
grass
there
having
just
beaten
a
mouse
to
death

portishead
played
and
there
I
was
back
in
1998
again

that
one
guy
who
looks
at
me
with
those
bright
eyes
that
make
me
want
to
hide

love
love
love
love
love
love
love
love
love
love
love
love
love
love
love
love
love

I 

considered 

the 

sun 

'cause 

that's 

'bout 

all

I 

could 

consider 

today 

when
you
read
it
read
it
slowly
in
my
voice
the
way
i
sound
in
your
ear

i
want
to
dip
my
nipples
into
your
mouth
set
myself
upon
you

he
told
her
her
mother
was
sick
but
she'd
just
caught
the
heroin
flu

you're
just
a
picture
but
I
think
I
could've
fallen
in
love
with
you

the
poem
sat
waiting
for
me
on
the
tip
of
my
tongue
old
girl

describing
a
psychedelic
experience
where
I
was
crying

I
write
poems
he
draws
pictures
he
sometimes
paints
with
watercolors

I
feel
like
giving
up
today
but
I
won't
not
just
yet
not
today

the
surface
is
made
of
layers
and
layers
it's
not
all
that
it
seems

I
could
live
in
a
treehouse
talk
to
the
animals
drink
from
the
falls

the
line
had
cut
out
but
it
didn't
matter
I
still
felt
what
she'd
said

she
ate
pulled
pork
for
breakfast
swam
in
the
pool
in
the
rain
as
yucca
watched

we
could
hear
the
crickets
see
the
june
bugs
and
feel
all
the
mosquitoes

the
girls
were
arguing
and
arguing
about
who
would
marry
batman

don't
believe
her
when
she
says
she
has
the
blues
she
loves
her
charmed
life

sing
me
your
songs
I
want
to
remember
them
and
sing
them
when
I'm
sad

be
still
my
beating
heart
on
second
thought
don't
be
still
flutter
away

I
want
to
tell
you
about
the
dream
where
I
dreamt
I
could
play
the
flute

she's
intimidated
by
me
because
the
truth
comes
so
naturally

I
was
trying
to
work
out
a
poem
so
I
thought
I'd
watch
my
soap

I
looked
at
her
class
picture
and
thought
someday
I'll
forget
all
their
names

it
was
my
daughter's
last
day
of
kindergarten
I
felt
accomplished

I
think
I
know
how
he
must've
felt
when
I
told
him
my
water
just
broke

my
daughter
the
fruit
of
me
blossoming
ripening
someday
fallen

I
dreamt
I
held
her
in
my
lap
stroked
her
hair
but
she'd
been
cruel
to
me

I
waited
on
the
night
all
day
I
waited
'til
my
dark
lover
came

today
seems
to
matter
but
it
doesn't
it
makes
no
difference

my
family
goes
to
sleep
I
am
awake
reading
the
deep
poems

you
know
not
demon
crazy
just
motivated
crazy
you
get
it

beside
my
sick
daughter
our
bodies
don't
touch
but
needing
each
other

the
lascivious
poet
awoke
wanton
she
threw
her
words
like
spears

your
smile's
asymmetrical
your
left
eye
droops
together
it
makes
you

I
wait
on
dinner
your
gentle
words
I
eat
tonight
I
sleep
soundly

she
puts
the
perspiration
in
inspiration
toasts
her
devil's
cup

let
me
tell
you
of
the
girl
with
black
eyes
dark
hair
skin
as
white
as
the
sea

the
meaning
in
lying
nude
in
the
long
grass
walking
the
city
blocks

the
touching
grass
the
smelling
sun
the
seeing
air
the
hearing
mountain