she'd
given
up
on
hope
but
the
dull
ache
of
missing
her
was
still
there

the
man
looked
like
someone
I'd
known
once
someone
I
didn't
want
to
know
now

I
think
up
perfect
poems
on
my
walk
and
forget
them
when
I
get
home

I
wanted
to
make
him
hungry
like
the
way
I
do
in
my
dreams

the
slug
resembled
the
leaf
or
maybe
the
leaf
resembled
the
slug

all
I
could
think
about
doing
was
kissing
her
hair
holding
her
hand

she's
my
little
doll
that
worries
about
death
with
her
eyes
and
her
lips

she
wants
to
know
what
death's
like
I
don't
know
I've
never
died
before

tell
me
your
feels
you
can
use
my
blood
to
write
it
make
my
skin
the
paper

I
would
tear
down
a
star
and
put
it
into
a
smart
jewelry
box

-anne sexton

I
read
the
whole
book
then
I
read
the
book
again
that
was
yesterday

I
lost
a
notebook
with
our
honeymoon
and
six
new
poems
in
it

it's
something
I
hadn't
really
considered
until
just
recently

it's
just
I
keep
thinking
about
the
note
from
her
I
found
in
his
book

I
shall
need
an
assistant
come
and
give
me
a
hand
with
these
bodies

loving
him
was
easy
the
hard
part
was
hating
him
she
welcomed
fall

pictures
of
my
grandmother
my
future
had
been
read
against
my
will

no
matter
who
the
girl
is
or
where
she
goes
the
mother
still
loves
her

she
said
when
she's
sad
she
just
wants
her
mommy
I
wanted
a
mommy
too

writing
dreams
down
since
the
1980s
I
always
knew
good
poetry

she
needs
a
kind
mother
I
don't
wipe
away
the
cobwebs
when
I
see
them

he
was
a
back-patter
the
type
that
likes
to
grab
your
shoulders
squeeze
them

she
looks
comfortable
in
her
clothes
I
feel
uncomfortable
in
mine

the
idea
that
we're
all
in
this
alone
has
never
made
me
feel
good

she
reminded
me
of
the
fall
roses
how
it's
never
quite
over

she
wanted
any
other
life
than
the
one
she
had
yet
she
wouldn't
leave

and
just
then
I
could've
driven
straight
off
the
road
and
into
that
river

I
had
forgotten
about
the
goatheads
thank
god
but
not
the
metalwolf

all
this
hanging
on
letting
go
and
then
the
doing
it
all
again

to
hand
someone
something
or
to
walk
away
and
not
see
him
again

they
said
his
poems
were
all
about
her
mine
will
be
all
about
you

nothing
is
permanent
in
this
wicked
world
not
even
our
troubles

-charlie chaplin

don't
forget
me
someday
I
may
need
you
like
a
knight
on
a
winged
beast

I'm
feeling
a
cute
high
this'd
be
the
perfect
time
to
make
love
to
me

I
contemplated
a
lady
rightly
and
drank
my
bitter
coffee

I
wanted
to
be
the
geese
to
just
fly
away
and
land
somewhere
else

he's
my
perfect
villian
my
confidence
man
the
trickster
in
my
folk
tale

her
letters
saved
me
from
life
myself
if
even
for
just
a
moment

there
are
some
poems
I
write
with
white
other
poems
I
write
with
black

the
unmistakable
whistling
of
the
villian
around
the
corner

I
am
the
audio
she
is
the
down
beats
we're
young
americans

do 

you 

remember 

friend 

when 

we 

threw 

a 

water 

balloon 

at 

that 

creep 

when
he
stopped
to
kiss
her
neck
the
world
seemed
an
okay
place
to
be

I
may
have
a
few
secrets
up
my
sleeve
I'll
think
them
up
some
other
time

-anne sexton

I
watch
the
way
her
fingers
wrap
around
mine
I
keep
hold
with
my
eyes

can
I
just
group
text
my
sorrow
right
now
just
window
installation
it

I
do
my
best
writing
in
my
dreams
I
live
to
sleep
I'm
sweetest
at
night

she's
a
pear
my
little
bunny
bear
my
cozy
little
spirit
babe

I
remember
waiting
for
her
tiny
body
so
impatiently

the
map
of
the
river
like
a
work
of
art
the
delta
she'd
sat
on

each
night
before
bed
I
kiss
his
forehead
and
tell
him
he's
my
best
friend

let's
talk
about
the
moon
for
a
moment
look
into
my
heart
tell
me

take
me
to
the
river
drop
me
in
the
water
I
sang
to
myself

grey
white
purple
black
they
seemed
content
even
when
I
disturbed
their
flock

I
told
the
universe
what
I
was
planning
I
had
to
tell
someone

whatever
you
want
of
me
just
take
it
just
have
me
you
needn't
ask

I
appreciate
that
and
would
you
please
explain
about
the
fifty
ways

-paul simon

I
would
stroke
your
tie
as
I
talked
to
you
I'd
take
your
hat
at
the
door

consider
your
moustache
twitched
I
wink
at
you
you
are
magnificent

-anne sexton

I
don't
remember
her
smelling
the
roses
just
cutting
arranging

I
wrote
the
best
damn
poem
I'd
ever
written
and
then
I
lost
it

I
could've
watched
that
creek
forever
between
the
sun
and
the
shade
tree

it
was
those
weekday
mornings
VH1
mysterious
ways
on
repeat

watching
thistle
seeds
ride
the
wind
since
1980
and
not
before

fear
of
the
future
raced
in
front
of
her
regret
aching
from
the
past

in
the
woods
I
don't
miss
the
city
in
the
city
I
don't
miss
the
woods

let
me
hold
you
to
my
breast
my
pet
that's
not
my
heart
you
hear
that's
the
stars

I
would
marry
him
a
hundred
times
I
would
be
his
nurse
in
wartime

he's
trying
to
get
me
like
a
knife
to
the
heart
but
he
ain't
romeo

he
thinks
I'm
the
poison
he
needs
but
my
name
is
not
juliet

she
said
you're
the
only
man
I'd
cook
for
and
he
said
you're
the
sweetest

with
eyes
that
dreamed
of
being
the
one
who
will
dance
on
the
floor
in
the
round

-michael jackson

it
was
a
dark
hour
dark
between
our
words
we
took
the
night
for
granted

we
looked
through
the
man's
things
for
what
we
could
use
he'd
been
dead
long
enough

fear
not
I
have
loved
you
from
the
foundation
of
the
universe

-o yes, tillie olsen

the
man
waited
at
the
stop
in
the
rain
I
hoped
the
bus
would
come
soon

and
you
need
her
and
she
needs
you
and
you
need
her
and
she
needs
you

-wang chung

I
know
my
robe
will
fit
me
well
I
tried
it
on
at
the
gates
of
hell

-by and by

she
had
big
poems
dripping
from
her
big
hair
his
body
was
needed

I'll
love
you
forever
only
if
you
can
be
someone
different
for
me

it
kills
me
to
only
watch
you
I
suffer
this
unrequited
life

the
chairs
felt
a
certain
way
in
their
house
in
our
house
they
feel
another

I
can't
have
the
hill
or
the
house
or
the
sagebrush
but
I
can
have
my
heart

gentlemen 
she
bowed
her
coquette
head

ma'am
their
cheeks
blushed
under
their
beards

I'll
uncover
you
rub
my
hair
on
your
feet
anoint
you
with
spikenard

I
want
it
like
a
dream
I
want
it
nude
and
in
the
sun
I
want
it
high

he
always
asks
if
she
likes
her
book
he
likes
to
know
what
she's
reading

the
chair
her
grandfather
made
her
wedding
china
for
sale
best
offer

I 

dreamt 

her 

voice 

singing 

me 

softly 

over 

the 

bridge 

into 

the 

water

I
will
change
my
name
to
black
feathers
woman
I'll
call
you
white
coyote

when
I
saw
him
later
he
was
no
longer
squat
puffed
up
he
was
squashed

the
bird
was
bummed
so
bummed
just
squat
puffed
up
sitting
there
in
the
driveway

the
kiss
of
the
mother
did
not
soothe
but
the
tears
were
warm
on
her
lips

I'm
high
from
the
coffee
and
not
eating
my
eggs
I
like
that
for
now

we're
all
suffering
from
that
same
thing
we
want
to
know
we're
not
alone

it's
the
way
he
looks
at
me
when
he's
really
really
looking
at
me

do
you
ever
miss
your
old
girlfriends
love
do
you
miss
the
way
they
weren't
me

I
took
a
walk
with
depression
breathe
breathe
and
I
left
him
by
the
sea

she
was
feeding
him
nachos
while
he
drove
the
car
the
sun
was
shining
hot

I
bought
you
all
the
greens
my
love
and
you
haven't
been
home
to
eat
them